My Hat-Rack

About 9 or 10 months ago, I was stopping by my local CVS for some reason, and on my way to the register, I passed by the clearance table–that is to say, I did not pass by the clearance table; I stopped. A bargain had caught my eye.

A $4 hat-rack. Could it be true? I picked up the box and inspected it. Yes, it seemed to be true. $4 for a fine, 5’6″ wooden hat-rack, little assembly required. I smirked to myself,  thinking of my classed-up dorm!

At that moment, a woman passed by the table and gave me measured look.

“You be careful with that hatstand,” she said, “I got one of these last week, and it broke as soon as I tried to put it together. They just crack apart. And the pegs fall right out.”

What sort of cryptic portent was this? I bought the hat-rack, but with less boasting triumph in my heart.

Now it is time to assess my hat-rack.

  • It cracked when I tried to put it together, so I used a lot of wood-glue on it.
  • Also, the pegs fell right out, can you believe it! I glued some of them back in, but a couple of them cracked enough that I threw them away in a rage.
  • My hat-rack falls over if I bump it or hang a coat on it.
  • My hat-rack does not serve my needs, as I have like 50 hats and it has like 5 hat pegs.
  • For this reason, my hat-rack does not look classy at all–it looks like a wad of hats and scarves about a foot-and-a-half in diameter, jammed on a stick.
  • It sheds hats on the floor, so I have to rake those hats up and set them on top of the big hat-wad sometimes. What a chore!
  • But it really was a bargain.

TWO STARS!

**—

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